let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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