that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize