Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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