she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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