She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize