I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
