He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
