can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
