Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
