The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
