therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
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