You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
