Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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