we have pet lesbian snakes
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
