Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
