dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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