Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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