I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I seem to have left my pride at pride
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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