Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
