Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
