Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
