His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
