I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
