You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I think a kid would responsible me up
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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