Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
