i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
