You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
