my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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