:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
