Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize