Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
