So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I want you more than these girls want KFC
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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