I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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