Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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