Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
