I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
