I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
