Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
