She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
