I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
