I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
