I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
