after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
do herpes really smell.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
