I want to walk on stilts...naked
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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