I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize