I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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