Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize