it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The chlamydia really affected his face.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
