last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
her vagine was all disorganized.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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