then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
