I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
