quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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