great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
