What did we do last night that was yellow?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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