Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
