I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
