He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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