SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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