i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize