after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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